For A New Beginning

I am with family this week, celebrating.  My cousin’s son is graduating from high school and starting the next and newest chapter of his life.  I may be 64, but I still remember my own graduation vividly and the all-pervasive feeling of “What’s next?”  Being so excited yet holding a healthy fear of the unknown.  Too young to fully understand what was ahead, but ready to take on the challenge. 

More than anything, I remember feeling like I could somehow “reinvent” myself by beginning again in a new place with new people.  It was the first time I learned the truth of, “No matter where you go, there you are.”  We DO get to see ourselves anew, but we also bring our current self along for the journey.  

New beginnings come in many shapes and sizes.  Marriage, parenthood, new jobs, homes, cars.  Divorce, retirement, health challenges, creating and achieving personal goals.  I recently spent 8 weeks in the NICU with my daughter and grandson watching him navigate his first new beginning.  My 2 1/2-year-old grandson is now enrolled in a new school where, barring moves and other changes, he will be until 8^th grade.  Already being asked to leave behind the familiar surroundings and friends of preschool.  My other cousin’s daughter graduating with her Masters and heading off on her career journey.  The possibilities for each of these fresh starts are limitless and daunting all in the same breath.

And the one new beginning that we all seem to overlook, the start of any new day.  Each one offering new opportunities simply waiting for us to notice them.  And then act.  Reach out.  Hold on.  Start. 

Having had so many beginnings, I now understand the gift of the whole story.  How every step in the path, every version of myself, matters.  There are parts of my story I wish had never happened and parts that I wish I could repeat daily.  Frustration comes when I try to focus in on one piece of the puzzle wondering how and where it fits. Why it didn’t happen faster or produce a different ending. It isn’t until I take a step back and look at the whole puzzle that the entirety of my journey comes into view.  Only then can I see the logic and the lessons of how it has unfolded.  Even then I have no knowledge of what each piece has yet to teach me. 

We are holistic beings living in a holistic world that spends most of its time trying to reduce everything down to one “answer”.  No such thing exists.  We are complex, complicated, ever-changing beings where the “answer” may seem right one day and enigmatic the next.  I start each day with “Thank you for this day and all that it may bring.”  And then I remind myself to “embrace uncertainty.”  Because that is the ONLY thing that is certain. 

So to my cousin’s son, everyone in his class and to all the young people around the world who are “graduating” into the next chapter in their life…. I give you one of my favorite poems.  One to read daily as a reminder that at any moment in our lives, we can step into a new beginning. 

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O’Donohue

Much Love, 

Lisa

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Lisa Hamil is a founding member and host for The SOS Collective, an online international women’s recovery and support group.  However, this blog and any classes or coaching offered by Lisa Hamil LLC are separate from and not affiliated in any way with The SOS Collective.