12 Rules for an Easier Life

I came across this photo on my computer from several years ago.  I would love to give credit to the author, but the photo is of a piece of paper taped to the glass door of a coffee shop in Ireland.  I also Googled “12 Rules for an Easier Life” only to find hundreds of results.  Apparently, there are many people who have their own version of these rules. 

So…I am recreating them here and my apologies for not giving credit where credit is due.  I am also adding my take on each “rule.”  I invite you to do the same.  We ALL get stuck in our story, our perspective on how the world works.  Use these 12 “rules” as journal prompts and see what comes up for you!

1. Never judge a day by the weather. The saying in Colorado is if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes.  I would say the same thing about my mood, my thoughts, my triggers, urges, or anything that threatens to take me “off-track”.  Pausing.  Waiting for a few minutes.  Taking a few deep breaths.  Those things can change the “weather” of my day.  And I always try to remember that no matter how bad the storm clouds look, there is a blue sky above.   I just can’t see it now. 
2. The best things in life aren’t things. It is easy to believe that some “thing” or some “one” out there has all the answers.  A book, a podcast, a relative or friend, the latest technology that will track our every movement.  In the past, I have looked to all these “things” to provide some sort of answer or clue about what I need next.  But things can’t feel for us.  People can’t feel for us…no matter their expertise or our relationship with them.  The best things in life are the ones we find on our own and that matter most to us.  Only we know what will truly help.  Listening to my heart… that has been the most important “thing.”
3. Tell the truth - there’s less to remember. This seems self-explanatory, but yes….when we tell ourselves and others the truth, we don’t have to memorize something unfamiliar. For me, telling the truth about my addiction, and my need to address it - to be honest with myself - freed up a LOT of headspace that was filled with justifications, moderations, rationalizations, and random excuses that kept me in the cycle of lying to myself about the reality of my situation.
4. Goals are deceptive - the un-aimed arrow never misses. Without defining what I want in my life, I am shooting arrows at nonexistent targets. So of course, they never miss.  The dreams in my head are sent out into space with nowhere to land.  The more I define what it is I want, the more targets I can create.  If I miss a target, I can then learn what to do differently next time.  Missing = education.  Not failure. 
5. He who dies with the most toys still dies. As my father always said, “No one gets out of this alive.”  And all the toys will not prolong my life.  If they bring joy to my life and help me interact with others, then it is a great “toy.”  I am present and participating.  If it is something that I procure as a “look at me” status symbol?  Surely, I have better ways to spend my time and money than trying to prove to others that I am “better” or more accomplished than they are.  People ARE different, but no one is better or worse.  And no toy can replace the joy of simply living. 
6. Age is relative - when you are over the hill, you pick up speed. Having just celebrated my 65^th birthday, I am looking forward to the ride!  Age is just a number. 
7. There are two ways to be rich - make more or desire less. See number 5. The less I desire, especially in the pursuit of “proving” myself to others, the richer I become.  Wealth is SO much more than money.  Wealth for me is found in the following order:  time, health, love, family and community, money.  Money is necessary, but nowhere close to the top of the list. 
8. Beauty is internal - looks mean nothing. We are quick to assume so much about someone purely on how they look, dress, speak, their job title, the car they drive, the house they live in.  We assume who they are without knowing a thing about them.  Take the time to get to know someone before you jump to conclusions based on looks alone.  People care about how they look and that is fine, but their true beauty is SO much more. 
9. No rain - no rainbow. I really dislike the concepts of “happy” and “normal”. I am tired of being sold ideas or products that profess to make my life easy.  No one’s life is easy. Happy and normal are relative only to me, not to some marketer’s version of what “should” make me happy or normal.  Being human is the hardest job any of us will ever have.  There WILL be bad days.  But there will be an equal number, if not more, of ordinary and fantastic days.  Don’t let the rain win…wait for the rainbow.
10. Speak softly and wear a loud shirt. I believe my energy speaks louder than my words. How I feel about myself and my life can say more to others than I can convey in any conversation. If I feel good about life and myself, I do not need to run screaming into the room proclaiming that I have everything all figured out.  Likewise, when I am in a bad mood, no one even needs to ask, they simply “know” that I need a moment.  Energy is powerful.  Pay attention to how you are feeling.  Others don’t need to ask how you are.  Most often they can tell by what “shirt” you are wearing.
11. In order to coast you have to stop peddling. Haha…. love this one. Maybe I need to stop overthinking EVERYTHING?  I have learned that the less I future trip about what MIGHT happen and focus on what is ACTUALLY happening, I can stop peddling so hard.  I am not in control of what comes anyway.  BUT I am in complete control of how I choose to respond.  When I spend my time worrying about the “what if” scenarios, I am not present in this moment to CHOOSE what I should do next.  I love coasting.
12. If walking - no uphills, no views. Like #9…life is hard. If you have ever hiked in the mountains, you know three things to be true.  a) You never walk straight uphill.  The path winds and sometimes you are climbing and sometimes you are descending.  b) If you give up on the path, no matter how steep it gets at times, you will never get to the amazing views from the top of the mountain.  c)  Once you are there, you will look around and see all the other mountains that are available for you to climb.  The most important thing to remember?  You will never get anywhere unless you keep putting one foot in front of the other.

We have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day.  Ninety percent of them are the exact same thoughts.  If we want our lives to be different, we need to think and act differently.  We need a new perspective.   Doing exercises like this can help us see the world through a more creative lens.   Language matters…and we will spend the month of October on this blog talking about language and the thoughts in our head!!

Pay attention to what “shirt” you are wearing.  Stop asking yourself what you did wrong and start asking yourself what you did right.  And take the time to NOTICE your life so you can actively CHOOSE the next right path.  There are a LOT of mountains to climb and that should fill us all with excitement, not dread.  These rules may not make life “easier”, but they could make it a lot more fun. 

Much Love,

Lisa

If you enjoyed this blog and believe someone else might enjoy it as well, please feel free to forward.  If this was forwarded to you and you would like to hear more, please sign up below to receive future emails.  

Lisa Hamil is a founding member and host for The SOS Collective, an online international women’s recovery and support group.  However, this blog and any classes or coaching offered by Lisa Hamil LLC are separate from and not affiliated in any way with The SOS Collective.